Kolmapäev, 9. september 2015

Blinker lights!

have been driving around by car a lot this year. More often than by bus. Whatever. But, while sitting on the passenger seat, I still try to watch out for the traffic. Among other things because one of my big dreams is to buy a car some day. I believe a prospective car owner has to feel “at home” in the traffic.
But in recent times I have started noticing that for some people it seems to be troublesome to show the blinker lights. They are just not shown.

This keeps creating dangerous situations on the roads and streets.
I feel really sorry for people whose life career blinker lights are twinkling brightly, and then, one single failure to switch on the real life blinker light may switch of the life career blinker lights for several people...

Life is fragile.
Everything that is there may vanish in a heartbeat... And then one will have a hard time thinking about what is still left...

Yesterday I watched cursorily a program called “Feeling at Home” while folding up the laundry and putting it away in the cupboard. A young woman lost her family and home, her job and health, due to somebody's fault...
Yesterday, after watching the program, I wrote in FB:
“And again I wonder, where does love vanish when one realizes that a loved one will remain disabled... How come a loving parent can no longer be a loving parent when one of the two is no longer able to love... I understand that one may lose strength for some time, but love... Love that should give strength to both partners in every situation... Why do peole dare to “teach” the kids to dislike their loving parent... And how come we are not able to keep up love in our heart when we are able to teach a patient walk again... And, I am not referring here to one isolated case... I don't know just how many families there are where a single moment has changed the life of one/or rather, several people... That moment or a dramatic event puts love to test for years...

Today I have been thinking about that the feeling of a cozy home is still all about love. But, as I see it, we try to take much more care for our physical part than for our mind/soul. Maybe the problem is that we are still not actually able to explain and fix what is going on in our heart. Pain leaves also a stain in the heart but we are not able to see it. But we can see a physical defect, and for some reason this feels scarier.
I remembered a documental I once saw about a foreign miracle doctor who actually runs a clinic of his own. He said that a healthy soul is what matters most, so actually a person in a wheelchair can be healthy, and his/her situation serves a purpose, and so he as a doctor can do nothing to help.
Then people looked at me.
I laughed and said that I was going to buy the plane tickets and come back on my own two legs.
Then I was asked if that was my intention...
I knew at once that I wouldn't be able to change my direction.
Today I am certain, as I have been all my life that I am not sad about not having legs that can walk.
 
There is something I am really afraid, thoughthat one day I might become totally bedridden... Being in a wheelchair doesn't mean that something worse may not happen to me... (KNOCK ON WOOD X3 !)
A confused and complicated talk...
At the same time I sometimes have the feeling that the attitude towards people with special needs hasn't really changed. There is no strength to understand and love them, and relate to them as equals...

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