Kolmapäev, 18. juuli 2012

Tuesday, july 17th 2012

How my legs are doing?

That question was asked me today. I laught, but it's very accurate. My legs are for my arms:)
So, how my legs are doing...
Today quit well. They helped me to do some chores and wrote few letters.
I shelled peas about two hours today. I've should finished all of it but it's so tedious. Shelles don't decrease and peas don't increase in the bowl.
When I shelled peas, I was doing some thinking. Just me with my thoughts. Tha't was good.
My paintings arrived from Võnnu today.  Minister Urmas said that exhibition had much visitors. In summer people goes to church very often. I'm very happy, that it went so well.

This is how my legs are doing today and tomorrow and so on:)Monday, july 16th 2012

From spider lily to... many things

From the moment, spider lily have 5 blossoms. This afternoon, when Ly and I took pictures, was only three of them. One blossom blooms only half of a day, but the blossoming itself is very powerful.
Thank You, Kamila for bringing this amazing flower back to me. I think lily loves beeing here. Four years she have opened her blossom and made my day:) I'll soon put pictures.
A bit half of the year IAT and results of my wish letter.
January to july I have 841,5 IAT hours. I remind that there are 4358 hours in half of the year. So think how many of few hours I can manage myself. Honestly, I'm trying to say, everything is possible, for me. And I'm very thankful that I have so great contact with my disability. I can manage by myself, like a women in her best years should be:)
Decreasing IAT hours i out of the question. Then I can't be energetically active anymore. And this would be a huge disaster for me.
As a result of wish letter, I've been given 120 euros for IAT. Thank You so-so-so much! For me, it's very big money and I used it to pay my IAT. If You want more information, please contact me:)
I have computer again, so I can edit wish letter.

I know exactly where I want to be and how to get there. Tiiatibu continually. That will come step by step. Through difficulties. I will lose something to find something.
Half of a year has been complicated, but experiences give experience to search a (little) lesson from every situation.

Saturday, july 14th 2012

About future

I'm trying again to get used to live with computer. I belive my new Baby will turn my life again back to the right track. My life has been pretty messy and tiring last few month. I'm already used my Baby when I needed to make some transaction in bank over the internet.
I am going to staring my new book.  Consistent? That's who I am;)
And I will rebuild training programs.
Only, I will never paint with my Baby:P
By the way, I'm writing my book oldschool style - with pen and paper! Writings with pen and paper have more power, energy, they have soul. My soul, what I can put into my writings.
And I will blog:)

Wednesday, july 11th 2012

I have a new "baby". Already two hours now or can I say just two hours? :)
It was a big surprise.
This is first post with my new baby.

Spider lily is booming.

Spider lily is booming. Few hours ago blossom haven't opened. I heard a great news and then I sighted my spider lily!!!

Good and bad which turns out to be good after all.

I've only slept two hours. But I'm not so called daysleeper so I'm awake and I'm writing this in my good friend Allar computer.

Before I forget (again), I have two good news. Both of them are about a week old, so their pretty fresh;)

1. My book "Ärge lööge mind enam" will be translated into russian. Tatjana will take that job on her shoulders. We met at 15.june in Olümpia in THINK event. She saw me as a little gentle girl:) And when she read my school story in THINK's book, she gazed me;) Read my book and decided to translate it into russian. Before she asked if it's already published in russian.
For now, my book can be read in estonian. I've dreamed publishing it in english.
But there are no chances. No matter what they say.  By chance I went to Tallinn twice. Thank's to Ly's randomly free day. And Tatjana saw me by chance. It all together was a one big chance:)
By chance I called Ly when I was uppset and needed to talk to my friend. At military rereception they told him that something is in his lung. Today we know it's just a birth-defect. Doctors haven't seen it before...

2. I have another exhibition coming. My paintings can be seen in Võnnu church to 15.july.
I probably have little meeting and short-term exhibition right here in Kaagvere on my own staircase. Date and time haven't given yet. There's plenty of time for that:)

Actually, lately there been so many stress and problems in my life. Sometimes I think how can I still smile..but hey! That's me:)

Last night I yelled so much that my throat is sour. But today I know exactly what I want and I'm thinking not giving up!!!


























Monday, may 28th 2012

So, panic and dreams coming true goes hand in hand. Since last time I was totally in panic I decided to reward myself for handeling it so well and bought a pair beautiful red shoes. And now I have my first, my OWN mixer. That's all takes to be happy:)
 Eesti Energia cand sometimes drives you crazy. So does all others institutsions. And there's a wild boar. Yes, I'm very serious. Saturday I was so relieved that I couldn't even drink four cups of coffee:P
Eurovision song: Ott Lepland's "Kuula" was my favourite from the beginning. In my opinion it was one of the best Estonian eurovision songs ever. Even my cat Bongo was watching, but what was his favourite song, I don't know:P
Today was a personal assistant job interview and I'm convinced I choose Signe. There was another candidate too, but first time over this years I said "No". I felt pretty bad about it but I have to have connection with my assistant. Think now, if your arms and legs don't work with you or go against yourself. Actually it's good to myself. It means I now my values and as a employer I can say "no".

Thursday, may 24th 2012

From next week

Staring june is a bit adventurous. In first june I'm going to Tallinn and next day I'm at Pärnu. Some days I'm going to spend in Tartu or god-knows-where. What happens next, I don't know but I'm hoping something will happens:)

Vastemõisa Community Center

This was my show opening on 14 may. Rest of the pictures I put on my web page.

Saturday, may 19th 2012

Sorrow and happiness goes hand to hand...

Yesterday was LEEPÜ general meeting. For the first time in right time. Financial report 2011  was confirmed. Report was short and concrete. Financially LEEPÜ "is living" thanks to my donation, but I've blogged about this from time to time.
Accountant Lea took only few minutes to read the report.
INNOVE unfunded project with what we last spring and summer worked on, seemes to (to me and Lea) be good experience on wich can be learned.  I personally think this project is  vitality even today. When I wroted that I thought it has to be vital even when this not funded. Every day I'm more and more convinced that I'm getting there where I want to go.  Today I read that 

Esmaspäev, 9. juuli 2012


Monday, june 25th, 2012

I remind to all my readers, that in 1.july at 3.00pm in Võnnu church is my next exposition opened. I'll be there too!
And what about IAT wish letter - I'm totally satisfied. In the beginning of the month I'll  give a little review.
Certainly is the wish letter still very needed. The sum of money what's written there, is far from (koos, olemas)
Just today, earlier, I donated LEEPÜ some of my own money to pay my personal assistants. The salaries are squared, but how to I manage? I don't think of that. There always a change doing better of worst. It's all in the eye of beholder;)

And I have new painting. I painted it out of nothing. You'll see it when picture of it is being taken.  Seems to me I have to buy a camera then I can take pictures all the time. And ofcourse I have to buy (kallikese). But how long do I say that, I don't know:D

Tuesday, june 19th, 2012

Crazy week

Never say never! I said I wouldn't go to Tallinn and yet I did. Since it was a last minute decision, I couldn't find anyone who to come with me. I called Ly who luckily had a day off from her daily work and she agreed to come with me. So she still had to work as a personal assistant. "Think" carrier days ended pretty cool. And my oh my - that schoolstory (koolilugu) what I wroted (põlve otsas) and what stayed short and unfinished for myself, that story kept in mind:) Three best writers recived a gift and I was one of them. My (kallike) wasn't with me, but that doesn't stopped me form useing paper.
I want to thank Tartu-Tallinn-Tartu route busdrivers. Both of them were very nice. They carried me to the backrow of the bus, because there were no available seats in the front. I'll travel every day Tartu-Tallinn route if all busdrivers were like them!
My home is total mess right now. But I like this kind of disorganisation.
Thank you all who have supported IAT. It slowly gets to me that wish letter wasn't bad idea afer all.

Monday, june 11, 2012

My stroy can be read in the local newspaper

In the morning of 8.june said Hi! and gave their best regards to us in Kaagvere young people from South-Korea. I helped organized that event. On May last day asked me if I would like to help and ofcourse I agreed. I'd like to thank Helina Voogne from MTÜ Noorte Missioon and our local goverment who gave permition to this event very quickly.
First word what I heared from our visitors was "Tere!" in clear estonian. Our little village square was full of songs and dances and plays from South-Korea. The Koreans danced four dances and sang korean hymn. The play was suprisingly awsome. Theme was how broken hearts recover. They act with masks and facial expressions, no words needed. Play lasted about 30 minutes. I was afraid a little bit, because there were a religious theme hidden. But I also think that religious and non-religious people are similar everywhere. Everyone believe in something or someone, difference is how to call it.
The Koreans huged us warmly an said prayers for us. I, personally, take prays as a good whishes and thoughts. Finally I offered my own (personal assistant helped) baked cake.
And I showed them my paintings. It seemed that they was just as much impressed of my leg-painting tehnique as I was of their songs and dances.
It's a pity that ladies an gentlemans of Kaagvere didn't dare to come closer. Maybe my wheelchair distraced or they haven't used to that I could organize something fascinating in Kaagvere.

Wednesday, 6th june, 2012

Wish letter

I'm brave and letting every bad emotion into the past. Believe me, I've wanted to to this for a long time but it's wasn't as easy as can be guessed. With this letter i search no sympathy or compassion. This is to point out some problems. And for me, that this year can me a little happier and I don't have to think moneyproblems so often. Yes, I know, I don't write my money problems very often, and theres no need to. It's enough when I say my wallet is pink ;)
I've let some people read this letter and asked their advise. Their thoughts have been suprisingly positive - although letter below is quite long I have shorter version of that too. Ofcourse I've could write more specific, so if You have any questions, please ask me.
And today I heared this letter will be translated into english and goes to wider audience. This came as a total suprise to me. So there still is chances or isn't?

There is letter:

Dear reader,

my name is Tiia. I'm trying to live rich, normal life. My riches are my wishes to live full life and to be a full-fledged member of society, altough I have physical disabilities.
In everyday activity I use personal assistant (IAT).
In year I use IAT about 2400 hours, this is 300 workdays. Depends on activities, some day I need IAT 4 hours, the other day 16 hours. But I'm sure I don't need IAT 24/7 as doctors think.
I fund IAT atleast a half percentage myself, by donating to myself and I'm doing it over 10 years. At 2011 is IAT's official (osutaja?) MTÜ LEEPU (South-Estonia Special Need Family Union). I'm also a chairwoman of that organisation. That means I'm employer for three people and I'm paying taxes. I'm trying to be a conscientious employer, but it's bit complicated to share my own money with IAT.
To me is financing myself very hard because I have to live my own life too. It's difficult, but it's the only way I've found so far. My IAT is supported by Mäksa commune administration about 12 years. In Estonia, there's social welfare and services developed slightly. People don't understand that spcial needed people with IAT can be profitable resource.
This means I've created my own IAT wich has been lead me to progress. I have motivation, vision and will to keep me going forward, to complete unfinished goals wich somehow can help other people. I'm and artist, I want to be a good educator and consultant and I want to write a new book this year. I wish to be just myself, to be a good friend, mother and grand-mother  and in the same time not depend on anyone else but me.
This year, 2012, I have to donate my own money about 2800 eur. IAT can be funded, but there's also a threat that some of my personal needs stays incomplete wich causes more problems. For example, I need a new computer and printer, I want to remodel my home 'cause it's literally molding. I'm doing fine, if in this year even a 50% of financial obligation can be lifted off my shoulders. In future, I want to work harder, so I could earn better. But when it works, I can finally feel safe about IAT.
If You belive that me and my work with IAT is necessary, please make a donation to MTÜ LEEPÜ into SEB bank 10220060800010. Every euro is step forward to my goals and helps IAT development in Estonia. If one moment there is enough funds for IAT, I'll let You know. Donation for living my life I don't want! In return I can mention You on my web page or at my exhibitions as a friend thanks to whom I can use IAT.